I Can’t Ask You to Stay


“And I know nothing good could come of me asking you to stay.”

I just caught up on the two latest episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and something about them totally hit home for me. Cristina Yang has always been one of my favorite characters from Grey’s Anatomy. While our situations are vastly different (hello, I’m not a world renowned cardiothoracic┬ásurgeon), I can totally identify with her current situation. Hunt’s line quoted above totally fits my current situation to a tee.

I just got out of a three and a half year relationship with a guy I loved to the moon and back. A guy who, despite his many faults (which I loved regardless), was someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Clearly that didn’t exactly go as planned as I am now living back at home with my mother. But c’est la vie, amirite?

I mulled over that quote for a bit after finishing the episode. What good does it do to ask someone to stay when they clearly want to go? You can’t make someone stay. Clearly, they already have one foot out the door and you can’t do anything about it. Sure, you could beg for them to stay. You could ask over and over and over again for them to stay, but that wouldn’t be fair to them. If they want to leave, let them go.

There are certain things in this world that are beyond our control. And as much of a type A person that I am, one who always feels the need to be in control, I’ve really had to accept that lately.

So do yourself a favor – Don’t ask someone to stay when they want to go. Just let them go.

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